~  When you start walking in the right direction with the hope that you'll reach the place where you want to be, but you don't get there. That is what I call destiny.

The NeverEnding Road

~  He has his hands inside his pockets, he's smoking a cigarette, trying to mush it with the pressure he has been forcing through his lips, and he's walking a road around the place where he used to live when he was young. But, he can’t remember it. He has spent a large fraction of his childhood in that vicinity, yet none of it seems familiar. This boulevard goes straight to somewhere he has forgotten, but he knows that he’ll end up in a nice place, because he has always believed that beautiful dimensions lead to better destinations.

On each side of the road, there are a few cemented structures with too many windows to open halfway each morning and to close halfway each night, there are lots of elms planted on a systematic distance from each other, which have their branches breaking the sun into graceful shafts of light. And, it’s going to be winter soon, so the leaves have started betraying their tenants and falling on the road making a rustling, dark green, carpeted path for him to walk on. And, the slightly cool breeze running with a considerably fast velocity is toppling the leaves and covering his footsteps as he moves on. The people that are moving around him are all strangers, he hasn't seen any of them before, or maybe he has but he doesn't remember, but he knows that they are all nice people who won't hurt him. All of this seems like an exquisite projection of his mind, a fascinating figment of his brain. Apart from that pain somewhere around the right side of his ribs, everything is so angelic and alluring.  He feels like he’s undergoing some catharsis, like he’s going to be pure when he gets to the end of the road, born all over again, given another chance to relive his life. But, he doesn't know where the road is taking him. He doesn't even know about the genesis of this walk. 

That’s the thing about dreams. You may know what you’re doing, you may think you know where you’re going, but you don’t remember where you started from. 

And, this is his reality. He is in a dream, he has been there since the last 4 years. He has been walking that road for 4 years, but it hasn't ended. He has been smoking that cigarette and trying to mush it for the past 49 months, but it is still the same. And, that pain in his ribs, it is because of the bullet that went through his body, crushing and cracking the regions of his ribs it hit. He was waiting for his train near the Hoboken Terminal four years and a month ago, when he got shot by a robber after he refused to give away his possessions, and since then he is in coma. He always wanted to dream before all this, he wanted to feel the ability to do almost anything, but he couldn't. And now, he’s stuck in one for a very long time, and the only way to get out of there is to wake up, but he can’t. This road is the boulevard that goes to the firmament of heavens, and the day it ends, he will never be able to wake up, he will die and depart to the afterlife. But, it won’t affect him, he is happy to walk this road till the end, because it is by far the most beautiful one he has traveled. And, he is hoping to see the one person among all these strangers, that he has loved the most, he is hoping to meet her again and walk the rest of the path with her. It is this hope that has kept him walking for four years now, and the day he gives up, he’ll wake up and get back into his body. But, he probably won’t give up, because he loves that woman, and love is the strongest of all feelings. So probably, he will see her, the dream will end, and he will be in heaven.

Thoughts Deciphered into Words by Raja Abdar-Rahman is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.

The image used was originally posted by Todd Binger on flickr.
  by  Todd Binger 

~ Trance enhances my capability to think. The sound of a million instruments thawed together to form something parallel to a sedative, works as a catalyst for me to explore my sub-conscious, and forget about every other thing that stops me from doing so.

~ He's a different person. He has more control over his emotional self. He doesn't need anyone or anything anymore to depend on for his happiness. If he wants to be happy, he can find the required dimension. And, he enjoys the moments of sadness too, he understands the importance of sadness, and he believes that sadness is what makes him appreciate the happier, more delightful events of life. He's a different person, because he is stronger now. He is fighting a tumor, and he hasn't thought of giving up for once. He sleeps every night with the hope of seeing a new dawn, and he wakes up everyday with the thought of making that day the inception of a good life. He is determined, he has an aim, the biggest aim man has ever had, to survive! And, he stays happy, until his mind starts focusing on the mistakes that he has made in his past. He has regrets, some very big regrets that try their best not to let him sleep. Regrets that keep on toppling in his head. But, since he is a different person, he knows that God has planned what's best for his creation, so he tries to learn the good out of the history, and forget the rest. And, he has just one wish for his entire life, that he hasn't told anyone, not yet. He has planned to share it with everyone, the day he'll be a successful person, survive the tumor and have that wish fulfilled. He's a different person, because he wanted to be. And, wanting something is a stronger feeling than needing it.

Thoughts Deciphered into Words by Raja Abdar-Rahman is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.

Transition

~ Many of the people that I knew a year ago, aren't just the same. I've observed quite a few changes in them, admired the good, and tried to ignore the bad. But, they made me think, think about the flow of transition, about the inception of change, about the reasons behind all these transitions that we see in people. I developed a citadel of thoughts about the subject, with one statement on the glacis, saying: "Transition is the code of nature". And, after thinking about all this, I took a decisive step. "At many points in my life, I'll undergo "the process", but every time I do that, I'll come out as a better person."

Change is good if you're getting closer to a better life, otherwise you'll end up being a miserable person, hating yourself for you don't know how many reasons. Understand life and understand others, being nice is what you want to do, trust me!

Thoughts Deciphered into Words by Raja Abdar-Rahman is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.

Apologize or Lose

~ If you've wronged someone, accepting your mistake is the best thing to do. Making excuses won't repair that person's lost trust on you. However, an apology might convince them to give you another chance. I did it today and the other person smiled at me and said "it's okay", and I think my small circle of happiness has expanded a bit. Try it!

Thoughts Deciphered into Words by Raja Abdar-Rahman is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.

~      A bunch of solutions are dangling in your head, along with the names of the hottest girls in college. Your mind is on the highway, trying to reach the end of every thought inside it, and then start the journey all over again. You're getting exhausted, "What's the right way? How do I do it? Why am I not getting the right answer?” your brain is having a lot of trouble with all these questions swaying inside it. Chewing the back of the pen in your hand, mushing it with your canines, soaking it in your saliva, you ride so far out on the road that you don't even remember that it isn't your pen. A friend gave it to you, who isn't a friend honestly, you hate him for you don't know how many reasons, but you didn't notice the marks that were already there on that pen when he gave it to you. And the moment you realize all this and acknowledge the fact that you've been licking that pen for half an hour, a little part of you dies, because you almost kissed your so called "friend's" lips. But, you don't care, because the clock is ticking, and there are only five minutes left till the examiner snatches your paper away. So basically, you're out of damns to give, because all you want is the answer. And then suddenly, another crew of thoughts pops up in your mind. "What if I fail this exam? My whole damn year will go to junk, what will I do then?" You start to have goose bumps, because you're going to be a failure, and the thought is very insatiable. "What will all those hot girls think? I couldn't pass an exam? Will mom let me go to this school trip? Will I get the new I-Pod I asked dad to buy me?” you're thinking out of the proximity of the situation, and just then you hear the examiner saying "two more minutes and you'll be out of the misery". Yes, it is a misery you're going through, apart from the fact that the examiner was joking. "Maybe it was not my day, maybe that question was just too difficult for anyone to solve or maybe that pen was not lucky for me", you're trying to find the perfect excuse to tell your mother when you get back home. But deep inside your core, you understand the fact that you've been a total omadhaun. "I am a failure, I didn't practice enough when I had time", you're coming to accept your mistakes. "One minute remaining", the examiner announces. You know that you can't find the loop, you understand that you're going down, you're probably thinking to leave the hall before that one minute passes and throw that pen in the bucket beside the door while you're leaving. "No man, you can't leave like this, you can't fail this exam, think harder!!!" your good self is trying to convince you to give it a last try, but you're too tired, you're not willing to look at the dancing characters of the question for once. But, going against your will, you agree to give it a last glance. And oh wait, Eureka!!!! Yes, YOU FOUND IT, you don't know how but you found the right answer. You're not going to fail the exam, you won't have to lie to your mother, you will get the I-Pod you asked your dad for, and nobody would think of you as a loser. You're happy, you just can't describe how you feel, you're ready to kiss that friend of yours all over again, who has suddenly become your best friend for the rest of your life and that pen is somehow the luckiest pen for you.

Thoughts Deciphered into Words by Raja Abdar-Rahman is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.